Idiot motorists - categories

Blimp

Having had countless near misses over the years (and a couple of direct hits), I have formed the opinion there are three species of drivers we need to look out for:

1. The Bogan. Usually drives a modified Holden (Torana's are perennial favorites, although a shortage in recent years has lead to a massive increase in Commodore use). The Bogan treats driving too close to cyclists as a sport, although some near misses may be due to a preoccupation with adjusting the baseball cap or changing the doof doof music on the cd.

2. The Farmer. Always drives a dirty HiLux ute, often with a dog or sheep tied in the back. Never seen without a hat. Probably doesn't even see cyclists due to daydreaming about exciting developments in lice control.

3. The Pensioner. Usually drives a Toyotal Camry, or sometimes a Hyundai Grandeur. Slow, but shows a total lack of observation. Possibly the most dangerous of all. Look out in particular for cars displaying a safe driver sticker.

steve

These bastards along with the 'Drive Right' freaks need shooting

cheers

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Steve

CyclingForums.com

ewep

Here are the SA cats:

1. Minibus Taxis - Usually Toyota Hilux minibuses. A general disregard of EVERYTHING and EVERYONE else on the road. Listen for the hooter!!!

2. Richman/Poorman - Usually drives a lower end BMW/Merc/4X4. Has a attitude problem and will try to drive as close as possible to you. Watch out, they will clip you!

3. Comrades in "Bakkies" (pick-ups) - Usually a 19-to-hell-and-gone model Toyota Hilux, falling apart with 30 passengers on the back. After just overtook the "thing" on the uphill, it SCREAMS past you on the downhill, swerving across the road because the steering is not up to the punishment.

4. The "Doef-Doef my China" brigade (ask Vo2, he'll know). Drives a VW Citi Golf (Golf I rip-off), music blaring, free flow exhaust, nice thinck tires my china, etc, etc. Because he sees you as a health freak, and he has to impress his "CHICK", he'll try to hit you.

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Biking or NOTHING!

BugMan

All things considered, cycling is fairly safe here in the midwest. There are two vehicles, however, that always scare me when I see them coming:

1) black pick up trucks - usually driven by an uneducated union laborer. The cyclist's image projects esteem, confidence, and aspiration - and it makes them mad, very mad.

2) white cadillacs (may also be pearl, beige, toupe, sky blue, or some other equally muted color) - driven by elderly people who can look straight at you and, honestly, do not see you. While the car itself is a giveaway, confirmation can be had if you see a blue wig or bald pate just peeking above the steering wheel.

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"There is no such thing as a great talent without great will-power."
- Honore de Balzac

Blimp

Anyone from Europe got a comment? It seems Toyota's are getting some bad global publicity here.

Rock Hopper

My experience of cycling to and from work in London UK over the last 7 years has led to the following driver categories to avoid

1. White delivery van and MPV (posh minibuses basically) drivers, these are the scum of the earth. I have a theory that when someone buys one of these vehicles they have to have their spatial awareness genes surgically removed, on countless occasions I have been nudged by these drivers, prompting me to unclip my D-lock and brandish it at them when approached by one.

2. Mercedes drivers*, regardless of age/specification of car or driver. On the whole these seem to be spectacularly arrogant and careless road users.

3. White Mercedes delivery van drivers – a deadly mixture of the two above!

* Footnote on Mercedes drivers: I ploughed into the rear end of a Merc last week, buckling my front wheel and landing on his boot – despite living up to the Mercedes driver tag with his style of driving, this one was good enough to stop and scrape me off of his boot lid and even offered advice on methods for treating the gash on my leg that I sustained in the incident!

Spider1977

1. Suits in SAABS, think they own the road and how dare you make them use the brakes. Love to make left hand turns (in Aus) right in front of you.

2. Volvo mums with blond page boy hair cuts. Too busy thinking about dropping off the kids at the expensive private school and where the next latte will be had and with whom. Love to overtake you and then slam on the brakes - maybe they want you to join them in the front seat for a few games, while daddy is at work.

3. Bus drivers - when I was a kid in Melbourne many moons ago, these jerks would see how close they could force you into the kerb. 30 years later in Hobart, and things haven't changed one bit. Just because they have a flashing light doesn't give them the right to run you off the road. And now the majority of bus drivers are women.

4. City engineers who build bike unfriendly intersections. These people should be lined up at the wall and shot! Hobart has some doosie intersections where you can find yourself having to make turns in the middle of four lanes of peak hour traffic. Always a challenge to get you foot out and in of the clipless pedals aqnd maintain some momentum with some DH up your jacksy.

bioguy

The most frightening for me are flatbed semi's. The tractor part is huge, loud and scary, the trailer part has too low of a profile and never seems to end.

stevenaleach

So not being a member of the minority economic elite means that you have no "self esteem, confidence and aspiration"?

Cyclists have to have college degrees and work in window offices with personal secretaries to bring them capuchinos?

Anyone who works for a living is ignorant, violent, and dangerous?

Being a member of a union is somehow disgraceful and a sign of low class or "poor breading"?

You are a bigot. You are a snob. You have a sick and sad world view. Go back to your Fox news and Rush Limbaugh and quit spreading your hate and prejudice here.

bioguy

Stating one thing in the positive does not mean that one believes the negative to be true. Not that I necessarily agree with Stevenaleach's assessment--just that your inference does not necessarily follow.


Those who work in offices still work. Are blue collar workers more ignorant, violent or dangerous? I don't know what the statistics say, but my impression is that violence and danger are similar. I've been yelled at by folks in BMW's and by Pickup drivers. As for ignorant, a plumber is likely to be ignorant of chemistry, just as a chemist is likely to be ignorant of plumbing.


I'm a teacher, and find unions to be limiting. The NEA (in my opinion) is the biggest obstacle to educational excellence. To the extent that the AMA is behaving like a union, I'm disappointed in doctors. I believe that other unions are equally foolish. They encourage mediocracy. Being a member is not a sign of being low class or poor breeding. It's often a matter of self-preservation. Unions are powerful. When I worked in public schools, I belonged to the union. Not belonging was--not an option.


Clearly you jump to conclusions and make broad sweeping generalizations. I don't see what Fox news and Rush Limbaugh have to do with it. Please explain. It seems to me that the guy is as likely to be a Gore-voting earth-saving leftist as a Rush-listening Fox News-watching righty. After all, he does ride a bike.

TooSore

Crumbs!

OK chaps what started off being a hoot about driving phenotypes has turned into a class war!

Judith : "Why are we fighting against each other when we have a common enemy?"

The Pythons : "The Judean Peoples Front!!"

Judith "No - the Romans!"

Life of Brian - as if you didn't know.

I will say this -

Mercedes drivers and the guy who drives the Clarkes Coach (Green coach-big wheels-really close" along the Embankment from Parliament Sq (London) in the morning at about 0730. Now that guy is an arse.

kwv

5. Queensland Transport and Brisbane Council for encouraging cyclists to break the law by allowing them to ride on the footpath which in turn they think they can ride straight onto the crossing.

less'go

1. Taxi drivers with whom I have to share MY bike lane: They seem to regard bicycles as vehicles that interfere in their free excercise of their profession by using the part of the street reserved especially for them. Yesterday an older cab driver literally repeatedly nudged the back of my bike at a red light. I have not yet figured out if he did it on purpose or was just getting a wee bit too senile (please do not take this wrong, any seniors out there) to be behind the wheel. I fittingly chewed him out, and am getting quite good at going up to car windows to quizz drivers on their stupid behavior.

2) Anybody, oh but anybody, who owns a 4 x 4 utility vehicle that they use primarily to drive in and around PARIS: For God's sake. Do you have any idea how many of these puppies there are here? And I'll bet not one out of a hundred has ever been used to haul anything bigger than a new leather couch or to cross a desert or outback any rougher than the driveway to their holiday rental in the south of France! Does the word ridiculous ring a bell. Urban cowpokes, this is not a Madonna video, this is real life.

3) The Unhealthy Driver: I am convinced that regardless of race, age, religion, occupation, gender, socio-economic standing AND make of vehicle, the single most dangerous type of driver is the unhealthy one, sucking on a cig at 7 in the morning with the windows rolled up, firmly ensconced their vehicle. They turn over the engine and punch on the accelerator and they expect to go. And no granola-munching-health-freak-probably-too-poor-to-afford-a-car-so-rides-a-bike-idiot is gonna' not only get in his or her way, but also make them look like lazy, polluting sickly sons-a-bitches doing it doing it.

4)Male idiots who honk and scream things at you just because you're a girl on a bike.

Gosh, I sound so bitter.

Sara

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The six-pack will be mine...

TeleJohn

This driver doesn't think that small cars belong on the road:

http://www.divisiontwo.com/articles/parttimemom1.htm