The beginning of America's liberalism.

Originally Posted by wolfix

Humans existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunter/gatherers.
They
lived on deer in the mountains during the summer & would go to the coast
and live on fish and lobster in winter.

The 2 most important events in all of history were the invention of beer
and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the
beer. These were the foundation of modern civilization and together were
the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into 2 distinct subgroups:
Liberals and Conservatives.

Once beer was discovered it required grain and that was the beginning of
agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented
yet,
so while our early human ancestors were sitting around waiting for them
to
be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages
were formed.

Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to B-B-Q at night
while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known
as
"the Conservative movement."

Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live
off
the conservatives by showing up for the nightly B-B-Q's and doing the
sewing, fetching and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the
Liberal
movement. Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. The
rest became known as 'girliemen.'

Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats,
the invention of group therapy and group hugs and the concept of
Democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that
conservatives provided.

Over the years conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most
powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by
the jackass.

Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer
white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their
beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare.

Another interesting revolutionary side note: most of their women have
higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers, personal
injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group
therapists
are liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter rule because it
wasn't "fair" to make the pitcher also bat.

Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat and still provide
for
their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys,
lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police
officers, corporate executives, Marines, athletes and generally anyone
who
works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other
conservatives
who want to work for a living.

Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to "govern" the producers
and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans
are
more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals
remained
in Europe when conservatives were coming to America. They crept in after
the Wild West was tame and created a business of trying to get MORE for
nothing.

Here ends today's lesson in world history:

Originally Posted by Billsworld

OK that made me LOL...I hope my response flies under wurm radar. its tough to be a conservative these days;we have no representation in Washington. Its shocking to me that the libs hate Bush so much , he spends money like Ted K on a bender.

Originally Posted by wolfix

But Bush is wasting money in a way that does not give the liberals "warm fuzzies" when they drink their latte and dream of France.

Originally Posted by Induray

Yep....goverment size is increasing, making Americans more dependent on goverment action (or rather inaction?). I am not a neal Boortz fan, but he got me interested in his " Fair Tax" proposal. In any ways, it is time to eliminate the IRS and reduce goverment size. But unfortunately, neither Republicans nor Democrats, which are drunk with power, will really do something about it. It is up to us THE PEOPLE.

Originally Posted by Billsworld

HEHEHE......as you know I dont want to get caught up in this thread again, Wurm has too much energy for me. He can cut and paste NY Times articles faster than I can misspell . Good stuff thoughmissspell

Originally Posted by wolfix

Yeah... .I used to watch "Judge Judy" as I drank my coffee. Now I read Wurm's posts so I can see how other people waste their time.

Originally Posted by wolfix

Yeah... .I used to watch "Judge Judy" as I drank my coffee. Now I read Wurm's posts so I can see how other people waste their time.

Originally Posted by Colorado Ryder

Wurm and waste in the same sentence. Got to be a connection?

Originally Posted by Billsworld

He has a way of pissing people off doesnt he. I really joined this site to get faster on the bike. Anyhoo ,I have to admit ,its hard to defend W. Its just the leftys alternatives that scare the poop out of me. I hope youve been doing lots of endurance work on the bike....youll need it if your going to battle wurm. He is tireless. Thanks BP

Originally Posted by Colorado Ryder

I've already pissed him off. He doesn't like to be called out as a conspiracy theorist. I'm supposedly on his ignore list.

Originally Posted by wolfix

Humans existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunter/gatherers.

Here ends today's lesson in world history:

Originally Posted by Hypnospin

a
these thoughtful men developed the conventions of bathing, shaving and using an awareness of hygiene that led to the widespread acceptance of soap. they favored long hair and used pleasant smelling flower extracts to further their appeal to the opposite sex.

Originally Posted by Hypnospin

in order to pursue the finer things in life, they extended oppurtunities to the cons and provided meaningful employment for those who had known only the savage brutality of hunting, and trained the cons in the ways of sheepherding, agriculture, tavernkeeping, meatcutting and woodchopping.

Originally Posted by Hypnospin

they developed and utilized the two wheeled cycle and evolved a competition of racing, but the cons did not particpate in numbers due to the prerequisite of wearing revealing lycra tights, which aroused the cons homophbia.

Originally Posted by Hypnospin

eventualy the thoughtful men would transport themselves in swedish steel conveyances known as volvo, and perhaps appropriately in the phonetic sense, saab.

Originally Posted by Hypnospin

it is often speculated on the relative advancements these rustic cons might make if they were to avail themselves of the higher learning and teaching by example of the thoughtful men, but to this day such considerations continue to remain largely academic in nature.