Jeff Jones for President!!!

Richard Longwood

Yeah, like, Jeff Jones for president!!!

Then, a month later, the phone rang -- it was Pol Pot or Nixon.

Someone in a distant state Jeff'd never heard of, had found his speech lying
on a table in a bus depot, read it, and passed it around to a few friends.

Some of these people had made copies and passed them around to more friends.

Eventually, people all over the state had read his speech and, regardless of
party affiliation, were nodding their heads and saying "Whooooooaa!" to the
premises and dreams at the foundation of his campaign and at the root of his
very being.

A ground swell of grassroots sentiment forced a special election which
unanimously and immediately elected and installed Jeff Jones as governor or
president or secretary-general of whatever form of government they had
there.

A blue ribbon panel was appointed to help ease his transition to power,
though the bulk of this was accomplished by just handing him the book about
the 10 ways to avoid vomiting on half a gallon of vodka in half an hour.

Then Jeff disappeared, which was the best charisma of all. Anyway, the
people had become so self righteous, it nauseated him just to be around
them.

But, every so often, he'd send a telegram to express his sorrow at not being
able to be there, that evening -- so they wouldn't forget who their governor
(or President?) was, even if he was no longer inhabiting the same world, and
no longer driven by the same chemistries or geometries or histories, or
spellings.