Page 7 - I know Lance well

04-08.-2006, 10:46 AM

#91

mitosis

Registered User

Join Date: Jun 2004

Location: east coast australia

Posts: 1,309

Re: I know Lance well

Quote:

Originally Posted by ishiwata

unless my memory is catching up with my age, i think pantani won the giro and the tour in '98. he tested + (high crit %, to be more exact) a year or two later in the giro and got kicked.

anyhow, i was great friends with il pirata, and I know for a fact that he never took any PEDs. The cocaine was injected into him by a jealous rival, while he was asleep, and he had a natural crit level of 99%. I know this is a fact because I spent every single minute with him for eight years straight. (Look at the pictures of the '98 Giro and you'll see me running alongside or in the team car.)

Laughed out loud. Thanks.

04-08.-2006, 10:48 AM

#92

mitosis

Registered User

Join Date: Jun 2004

Location: east coast australia

Posts: 1,309

Re: I know Lance well

Quote:

Originally Posted by rocko

I was in Andy Hampsten's saddle bag the day he won on the Alpe and I know for a fact he ate a haggis half way up the climb (just after Dutch Corner) and that is why he won. The UCI have never refined their haggis test, maybe they should.

I have ridden Alpe D 5 times (true) and never eaten haggis (untrue).

I think they test for metabolites of haggis.

04-08.-2006, 01:17 PM	#93
davidbod Registered User Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Houston, TX Posts: 712	Re: I know Lance well Absolutely the funniest thread going for a while. After openning up that star trek thingy though I think I may have hurt myself laughing. Mr. Jackson do you have anything that might help my recovery?

04-08.-2006, 07:47 PM

#94

rocko

Registered User

Join Date: Feb 2004

Location: Edinburgh, Scotland

Posts: 70

Re: I know Lance well

Quote:

Originally Posted by mitosis

I think they test for metabolites of haggis.

It wasn't my haggis, it was my vanishing twin's haggis. Before I became a pro cyclist I worked as a magician in the circus and I would make my twin vanish from inside a padlocked steel case. One fateful day he vanished and when after the show I went to the usual spot to find him (behind the popcorn stall) he was nowhere to be seen. My twin had truly vanished this time. There was no other option but to run away and join US Postal. I never thought I would see my twin again, so when he showed up in my blood at the Olympics and then again at the Vuelta I was most surprised! Even Tugboat let out a yelp - but that's another story for another forum altogether.

04-08.-2006, 10:51 PM	#95
nath1 Registered User Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 104	Re: I know Lance well Just got back from a four hour ride, and thought i had not eaten enought and was bonking when i read this thread. Great, you should go on the road with this shit, you could could be the best circus in town ............clown!. If you own a bike i would get out there and pedal this shit out of your system. Im off for a laydown.

04-08.-2006, 11:11 PM

#96

rocko

Registered User

Join Date: Feb 2004

Location: Edinburgh, Scotland

Posts: 70

Re: I know Lance well

Quote:

Originally Posted by nath1

Just got back from a four hour ride, and thought i had not eaten enought and was bonking when i read this thread. Great, you should go on the road with this shit, you could could be the best circus in town ............clown!. If you own a bike i would get out there and pedal this shit out of your system. Im off for a laydown.

If it's any use I own three bicycles but My Doctor is in hiding so I can't ride them. Off to sleep now...zzz

05-08.-2006, 12:23 AM

#97

nath1

Registered User

Join Date: Mar 2006

Posts: 104

Re: I know Lance well

Quote:

Originally Posted by rocko

If it's any use I own three bicycles but My Doctor is in hiding so I can't ride them. Off to sleep now...zzz

Sorry- mate hope i didn't offend you, i meant Mr martin the oringinal poster

. I did'nt post properly sorry ; cheers.

09-08.-2006, 04:43 AM

#98

Martin Jackson

Registered User

Join Date: Aug 2006

Location: Texas

Posts: 90

Re: I know Lance well

Quote:

Originally Posted by nath1

Sorry- mate hope i didn't offend you, i meant Mr martin the oringinal poster

. I did'nt post properly sorry ; cheers.

No offense taken. With converts like you, I'll win my battle. Now take the message and shout it from the mountain tops!

__________________
LIC IT IB!
Lance Is Clean! In That I Believe.

09-08.-2006, 04:47 AM	#99
nath1 Registered User Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 104	Re: I know Lance well Dont know what you mean, in a religious context or what? I just do not see the conection. What do mountains have to do with this, or are you a philosopher, if so let me in on the riddle. cheers

29-05.-2007, 07:30 PM	#100
ILL Registered User Join Date: May 2007 Location: Texas Posts: 7	Re: I know Lance well Martin is my friend. In that I believe.

29-05.-2007, 09:03 PM

#101

janiejones

Registered User

Join Date: Jul 2005

Location: Australia

Posts: 565

Re: I know Lance well

Quote:

Originally Posted by Martin Jackson

Lance said, "I don't need that shit. I win without it." And then he smiled that Texas smile that says, "Don't tread on me."

.

Lance saying "I don't need that...", doesn't mean he doesn't use it to make "winning" a bit easier.

I don't need my coffee, or alcohol, or the other occassional crap that enters my body, but I still use it to get along...and I haven't got millions of dollars and a massive reputation to keep hold of.

29-05.-2007, 09:07 PM

#102

janiejones

Registered User

Join Date: Jul 2005

Location: Australia

Posts: 565

Re: I know Lance well

Quote:

Originally Posted by ILL

Martin is my friend.

In that I believe.

oh my Lord, is that you Lancey boy, the real thang!!!!

Why don't ya tell us all how to win, big cowboy.

Next we'll have Ol' Bush himself on here saying Martin and Lance are both his special friends.

29-05.-2007, 09:15 PM

#103

stevebaby

Registered User

Join Date: Jun 2004

Location: Craggy Island

Posts: 2,402

Re: I know Lance well

Quote:

Originally Posted by ILL

Martin is my friend.

In that I believe.

HA! You only say that because he gave you a reacharound!
If it wasn't for LA and the sinister MJ, cycling wouldn't be in the sorry state it's in today.

__________________
Cruel and vicious,but fair.
Drink!Feck!Arrse!Girls!
Nechaevist

01-06.-2007, 12:27 AM	#104
ILL Registered User Join Date: May 2007 Location: Texas Posts: 7	Re: I know Lance well All these confessions... toughen up you wimps, cycling's an outdoor sport. You don't have any choice but to fight the trolls. You want to know what I was on? I'll tell you what I was on... I was in Boone on Beech mountain, with Martin. I was lookin' for the power from Scotty. I was on my bike.. __________________ ILL I Love Lance

01-06.-2007, 05:44 AM

#105

Lonnie Utah

Registered User

Join Date: Aug 2004

Location: Not quite there

Posts: 957

Re: I know Lance well

Quote:

Originally Posted by Martin Jackson

Anyway, nearing the end of the ride, I told Lance, "If you need any help beating those guys in the Tour de France, just let me know. I can bring the power like Scotty. I can get anything you need," and he knew exactly what I was talking about.

Bring it!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eBXa...=related&search=

__________________
Cheap, Strong and Light.
Pick any Two.

Thread Tools	Search this Thread
Show Printable Version Email this Page	Search this Thread: Advanced Search
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode