Parking in cycle lanes:

Shaun Rimmer

<RANT MODE!!!!!!!>

Lets face it, it's against the law, it's dangerous, and only utter t*atc*nts
do it.

I hate them.

I despise them for their ignorance and selfishness.

I despise them for pulling into the cycle lane, from the oncoming
carriageway, right in front of me, forcing me to move out into fast flowing
traffic to avoid pulling a trials move right over their stupid fucking cars.

I despise them for pulling out of the cycle lane, from behind another utter
t*atc*nt and forcing me to move out into fast flowing traffic or brake
extremely hard to avoid them.

I despise them for opening their doors road-side _after_ I've _already_
pulled out into fast flowing traffic, forcing me to brake hard and move even
further the fuck out into fast flowing traffic to avoid becoming burger
meat.

I despise the way they look at me when I glare and scream at them the
explanation for my anger, as if I'm some kinda crazy, and they've done
nothing wrong.

LISTEN UP YOU UTTER T*ATC*NTS, THAT PICTURE OF A BICYCLE BETWEEN KERB AND
WHITE DASHED LINES DOES NOT MEAN _CAR PARK_!!!!!

I'm sick to death of them.

Arseholes.

<EO_F_ RANT>


Shaun aRe - When I get my digi-cam fixed I'm gonna photo these fucker's cars
and send the pictures off to the traffic cops/wardens with a letter - they
could make several hundred £££'s in fines each day, and they'd better not
pass up the chance, or there _WILL_ be hell to pay. Thanks for listening.

bomba

On Thu, 15 Apr 2004 09:41:00 +0100, Shaun Rimmer wrote:

> I despise them for pulling into the cycle lane, from the oncoming
> carriageway, right in front of me, forcing me to move out into fast flowing
> traffic to avoid pulling a trials move right over their stupid fucking cars.

If you're having to brake that hard, perhaps just carrying on and
performing a controlled 'crash' on to the bonnet and up the windscreen.
Then phone the police. Much damage to car (especially if you drag the bike
on to the bonnet with you), one shocked driver who has to go to court.
Criminal compensation, new bike, etc, and best of all, you get to turn up
to work late saying you've been run over. Instant sympathy >

On a more serious note, if you've got the number plate of this fellow, you
can report him directly to the police for dangerous driving. Although
there's unlikely to be a prosecution they'll often pop round for a word.

--
a.m-b FAQ: http://www.j-harris.net/bike/ambfaq.htm

a.bmx FAQ: http://www.t-online.de/~jharris/bmx_faq.htm

Stephen Baker

Bomba says:

>If you're having to brake that hard, perhaps just carrying on and
>performing a controlled 'crash' on to the bonnet and up the windscreen.

<snip other good advice>

> Although
>there's unlikely to be a prosecution they'll often pop round for a word.
>

I always found a boot in the door and a "Get out of my lane, Fsckwit!" worked
really well. If they report you, they have to admit to being there.
Mind you, you have to have an escape route planned...

Steve

Doki

Shaun Rimmer wrote:
> <RANT MODE!!!!!!!>
>
> Lets face it, it's against the law, it's dangerous, and only utter
> t*atc*nts do it.

I'm not sure it is against the law. FWIW, I'd sooner go round the outside of
a parked car than ride up the inside and risk not being seen by someone
waiting to turn into a junction or driveway. Of course, if there's a
junction the car shouldn't be parked anywhere near it.

Shaun Rimmer

"bomba" <myarse247@hotmail.com> wrote in message
newsan.2004.04.15.10.13.55.442213@hotmail.com...
> On Thu, 15 Apr 2004 09:41:00 +0100, Shaun Rimmer wrote:
>
> > I despise them for pulling into the cycle lane, from the oncoming
> > carriageway, right in front of me, forcing me to move out into fast
flowing
> > traffic to avoid pulling a trials move right over their stupid fucking
cars.
>
> If you're having to brake that hard, perhaps just carrying on and
> performing a controlled 'crash' on to the bonnet and up the windscreen.

Heheheh, hey, you just _know_ *I'd* be bound to break a bone doing shit like
that! ',;~}~

Especially at around 20 mph...

> Then phone the police. Much damage to car (especially if you drag the bike
> on to the bonnet with you), one shocked driver who has to go to court.
> Criminal compensation, new bike, etc, and best of all, you get to turn up
> to work late saying you've been run over. Instant sympathy >

I don't need sympathy, I need ACTION!

> On a more serious note, if you've got the number plate of this fellow, you
> can report him directly to the police for dangerous driving. Although
> there's unlikely to be a prosecution they'll often pop round for a word.

Yeah, this particular one didn't happen recently, but there's many a near
incident each week, and there's _always_ cars parked in these lanes, from
visiting friends cars, through people going to the shop, to parents waiting
for kiddies outside schools (the worst ones).

The school mainly in question does have parking facilities, and I will be
writing to them, also.

It bugs me that the police just drive past these idiots without even
glancing - it is against the law to even drive with a wheel over the white
line into a cycle lane 9instant driving test fail for same), and there a
standing fine of somewhere around £30 for a first offence - I don't get it,
they're normally so big on pulling fine revenue?!?!?!?

Cheers Jon,

Shaun aRe

Shaun Rimmer

"Stephen Baker" <saildesign@aol.comnospam> wrote in message
news:20040415072740.12620.00000339@mb-m24.aol.com...
> Bomba says:
>
> >If you're having to brake that hard, perhaps just carrying on and
> >performing a controlled 'crash' on to the bonnet and up the windscreen.
>
> <snip other good advice>
>
> > Although
> >there's unlikely to be a prosecution they'll often pop round for a word.
> >
>
> I always found a boot in the door and a "Get out of my lane, Fsckwit!"
worked
> really well. If they report you, they have to admit to being there.
> Mind you, you have to have an escape route planned...

Yeah, and I'm always at least half out of breath! Not only that, but my
criminal damages charges would likely be far more severe than their illegal
parking ones, knowing my luck with these things...


Shaun aRe

Shaun Rimmer

"Doki" <doki@spamtroNspidar.com> wrote in message
news:1082028380.18291.0@damia.uk.clara.net...
>
>
> Shaun Rimmer wrote:
> > <RANT MODE!!!!!!!>
> >
> > Lets face it, it's against the law, it's dangerous, and only utter
> > t*atc*nts do it.
>
> I'm not sure it is against the law.

I'm in the UK. Here it is illegal, with a standing fine of around £30 for a
first offence. It is also an instant fail to even put a tyre on the devide
line of a cycle lane during a car test.

> FWIW, I'd sooner go round the outside of
> a parked car than ride up the inside and risk not being seen by someone
> waiting to turn into a junction or driveway. Of course, if there's a
> junction the car shouldn't be parked anywhere near it.

These things are not issues in this case.


Shaun aRe

bomba

On Thu, 15 Apr 2004 13:55:11 +0100, Shaun Rimmer wrote:

>> If you're having to brake that hard, perhaps just carrying on and
>> performing a controlled 'crash' on to the bonnet and up the windscreen.
>
> Heheheh, hey, you just _know_ *I'd* be bound to break a bone doing shit like
> that! ',;~}~
>
> Especially at around 20 mph...

Bigger compensation bill!

Sometimes I forget that you're a Northern nonce, not a double-'ard
bastard, like what I am :^D

> The school mainly in question does have parking facilities, and I will be
> writing to them, also.

Good plan. Write to as many people as possible. Councillors, MPs, local
paper, etc, etc. I'm sure you don't need help as to what to write.

> It bugs me that the police just drive past these idiots without even
> glancing - it is against the law to even drive with a wheel over the white
> line into a cycle lane 9instant driving test fail for same), and there a
> standing fine of somewhere around £30 for a first offence - I don't get it,
> they're normally so big on pulling fine revenue?!?!?!?

Ah, but this involves effort on their part. Much easier to let an
automated system take photos and send out the bills.

--
a.m-b FAQ: http://www.j-harris.net/bike/ambfaq.htm

a.bmx FAQ: http://www.t-online.de/~jharris/bmx_faq.htm

supabonbon

bomba <myarse247@hotmail.com> wrote in message news:<pan.2004.04.15.10.13.55.442213@hotmail.com>...
> On Thu, 15 Apr 2004 09:41:00 +0100, Shaun Rimmer wrote:
>
> > I despise them for pulling into the cycle lane, from the oncoming
> > carriageway, right in front of me, forcing me to move out into fast flowing
> > traffic to avoid pulling a trials move right over their stupid fucking cars.
>
> If you're having to brake that hard, perhaps just carrying on and
> performing a controlled 'crash' on to the bonnet and up the windscreen.
> Then phone the police. Much damage to car (especially if you drag the bike
> on to the bonnet with you), one shocked driver who has to go to court.
> Criminal compensation, new bike, etc, and best of all, you get to turn up
> to work late saying you've been run over. Instant sympathy >
>
> On a more serious note, if you've got the number plate of this fellow, you
> can report him directly to the police for dangerous driving. Although
> there's unlikely to be a prosecution they'll often pop round for a word.

I've performed the crash of which you speak, and made the bonnet into a birdbath.

/s

Shaun Rimmer

"bomba" <myarse247@hotmail.com> wrote in message
newsan.2004.04.15.13.28.34.902888@hotmail.com...
> On Thu, 15 Apr 2004 13:55:11 +0100, Shaun Rimmer wrote:
>
> >> If you're having to brake that hard, perhaps just carrying on and
> >> performing a controlled 'crash' on to the bonnet and up the windscreen.
> >
> > Heheheh, hey, you just _know_ *I'd* be bound to break a bone doing shit
like
> > that! ',;~}~
> >
> > Especially at around 20 mph...
>
> Bigger compensation bill!

And more physical down-time, something I'm about as sick-to-death of as I
can take...

> Sometimes I forget that you're a Northern nonce, not a double-'ard
> bastard, like what I am :^D

Oh, I'm a Hard Northern BastardT alright, just and unlucky one, that's
all...

> > The school mainly in question does have parking facilities, and I will
be
> > writing to them, also.
>
> Good plan. Write to as many people as possible. Councillors, MPs, local
> paper, etc, etc. I'm sure you don't need help as to what to write.

True ',;~}~

I'll start with the School and the Cops/Traffic peeps, and see how it goes.

> > It bugs me that the police just drive past these idiots without even
> > glancing - it is against the law to even drive with a wheel over the
white
> > line into a cycle lane 9instant driving test fail for same), and there a
> > standing fine of somewhere around £30 for a first offence - I don't get
it,
> > they're normally so big on pulling fine revenue?!?!?!?
>
> Ah, but this involves effort on their part. Much easier to let an
> automated system take photos and send out the bills.

Indeed. Bastards.

Cheers Jon,

Shaun aRe

MeatballTurbo

In article <c5m0vq$3afmv$1@ID-170198.news.uni-berlin.de>,=20
shaun@newtronic.co.uk says...
>=20
> "Doki" <doki@spamtroNspidar.com> wrote in message
> news:1082028380.18291.0@damia.uk.clara.net...
> >
> >
> > Shaun Rimmer wrote:
> > > <RANT MODE!!!!!!!>
> > >
> > > Lets face it, it's against the law, it's dangerous, and only utter
> > > t*atc*nts do it.
> >
> > I'm not sure it is against the law.
>=20
> I'm in the UK. Here it is illegal, with a standing fine of around =A330 f=
or a
> first offence. It is also an instant fail to even put a tyre on the devid=
e
> line of a cycle lane during a car test.

Only if it is a solid white line surrounding the bike lane.

If it is a broken white line, you can enter when necessary. You as the=20
driver have to decide if it is necessary.
=20
> > FWIW, I'd sooner go round the outside of
> > a parked car than ride up the inside and risk not being seen by someone
> > waiting to turn into a junction or driveway. Of course, if there's a
> > junction the car shouldn't be parked anywhere near it.
>=20
> These things are not issues in this case.
>=20

BTW, currently spendin gmore time driving than I should and almsot zero=20
time on the bike, but have been a long time poster here under several=20
different names and different accounts for about 7 years now.

--=20
The poster formerly known as Skodapilot.
http://www.bouncing-czechs.com

Per Elmsäter

Shaun Rimmer wrote:
> <RANT MODE!!!!!!!>
> I despise them for opening their doors road-side _after_ I've
> _already_ pulled out into fast flowing traffic, forcing me to brake
> hard and move even further the fuck out into fast flowing traffic to
> avoid becoming burger meat.
>

You're slowly learning the facts of life I can see. Become a roadie, stay
away from cycling lanes and stick to the fast lane from the start

--
Perre

You have to be smarter than a robot to reply.

Stephen Baker

MeatballTurbo says:

>The poster formerly known as Skodapilot.

You actually _admit_ to that? ;-)

Steve

Mark Fowler

"Shaun Rimmer" <shaun@newtronic.co.uk> wrote in message
news:c5lhqs$30m22$1@ID-170198.news.uni-berlin.de...
> <RANT MODE!!!!!!!>
>
> Lets face it, it's against the law, it's dangerous, and only utter
t*atc*nts
> do it.
> I despise them for opening their doors road-side _after_ I've _already_
> pulled out into fast flowing traffic, forcing me to brake hard and move
even
> further the fuck out into fast flowing traffic to avoid becoming burger
> meat.
>

Keep an implement of some sort about your person when riding in town, its
surpsrising how quietly you can gouge a cars door as you go past. I tend to
use the edge of a multitool thats in my saddle bag - you see them pull in
ahead of you (or even better they are already parked), you pull out your
"tool" and just drag it across their door / wing as you slowly pedal past.
To report you they will have to say they were illegally parked in a cycle
lane - not something drivers want to do. Your defence is that your bars must
have done it as their inconsiderate parking forced you into a tiny gap in
the traffic that eveidently wasnt big enough.
Plus its a real good feeling. Especially if its a BMW.
Mark