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Crankyfeet
Cyclingforums.com: Best All-time Quotes/Posts/Threads
Chapter 5

The attack was swift and clinical. Will's neck was instantly broken to stifle any alerting cry. The troll's index claw quickly sliced the abdomen which allowed the beast to rip out the fresh liver and devour it whole. Cast aside... the body had given up all it was worth at this time. The trolls had more important things on their minds than eating.

"Hey guys... I think Will must have went back, he didn't even tell me he was leaving", hollered Kara to the single-file troop in front.

"What a chump... he must have thought he was going to have to inhale or something" quipped Nate with a laugh.

Brian ventured off the main path onto a much less noticeable one.

"Hey Elders... you sure you know where you're going?" questioned Nate.

"Trust me dude... this spot is totally spun, man... I found it last week", replied Brian.

Not much time passed before the sounds of a small stream running over rocks broke the twilight din. The brush opened up to reveal a pool in the stream. Beside the pool was a grassy area and slightly further along on the other side was a large rocky outcrop protruding from a cliff of bare soil that formed the edge of a higher plateau, some 25ft higher than the stream.

Brian spoke "When we get up on top of that rock over there, you'll see what I mean"

The group crossed the stepping stoned stream and started climbing the rock, which was surprisingly easy because of its step-like strata. At the top there was a progressive sigh as each person witnessed the sight.

"Way cool dude!" Mark said happily, "you got a view over the trees".

"You can just see the top of the library and the sunset as well... and if anyone finds us, by the time they climb up here, we'll have split" Brian proudly replied.

"You got those joints Elders?...We haven't got all night... I didn't come here for the view", Nate chimed in... not missing a chance to assert his authority.

The group sat down on the rocky precipice as Brian passed around the stash he had nicked off his older brother that morning.

"This spot is so cool guys... We should come here when we don't have practice" said Tanya

"Yeah...you girls could do our homework" Nate joked

Brian took a long draw and exhaled "Hey does anyone want to go for a swim, that pool looks awesome" as he caught Jolene's eye.

Jolene glanced at Bronwyn "Yeah...I'll go... you'll come too, hey Bron?"

"Sure" Bronwyn replied smiling.

"Hey I'll come too" Mark interjected, as the guys had already worked out that Bronwyn was his girl on this jaunt.

As the four got to the bottom of the rock Brian began to take off his shirt, as did Jolene. "What ..We skinny dipping?" queried Mark.

"Whadda ya think" replied Brian.."You gunna sit around in wet clothes"

The three without Mark slid into the water as he decided he'd rather undress behind a bush on the other side of the stream.

Kara was now aware and slightly upset that she was the one without a partner. She had a crush on Mark, and it was obvious he'd chosen Bron. Nate and Tanya were practically necking when she got up and decided to go down to the pool. She didn't really want to swim, so it seemed an ideal time to venture into the trees and bushes by the swimming-hole for a toilet break. She went to where the troop had entered the clearing. About twenty yards from where she left the path she found a tree that seemed like it would be as good a spot as any. She hiked up her skirt to remove her pants when she heard a sound approaching from the other side of the tree. She slowly peered around the trunk as something grabbed her from behind.

thunder
Cyclingforums.com: Best All-time Quotes/Posts/Threads
Chapter 5

The attack was swift and clinical, Will's neck instantly broken to stifle any alerting cry. The troll's index claw quickly sliced the abdomen which allowed the beast to quickly rip out the fresh liver and devour it whole. Cast aside... the body had given up all it was worth at this time. The trolls had more important things on their minds than eating.

"Hey guys... I think Will must have went back, he didn't even tell me he was leaving" hollered Kara to the single-file troop in front.

"What a whimp... he must have thought he was going to have to inhale or something" quipped Nate with a laugh.

Brian ventured off the main path onto a much less noticeable one.

"Hey Elders... you sure you know where you're going?" questioned Nate.

"Trust me dude... this spot is totally spun man... I found it last week" replied Brian.

Not much time passed before the sounds of a small stream running over rocks broke the twilight din. The brush opened up to reveal a pool in the stream. Beside the pool was a grassy area and slightly further along on the other side was a large rocky outcrop protruding from a cliff of bare soil that formed the edge of a higher plateau, some 25ft higher than the stream.

Brian spoke "When we get up on top of that rock over there, you'll see what I mean"

The group crossed the stepping stoned stream and started climbing the rock, which was surprisingly easy because of its step-like strata. At the top there was a progressive sigh as each person witnessed the sight.

"Way cool dude!" Mark said happily, "you got a view over the trees".

"You can just see the top of the library and the sunset as well... and if anyone finds us, by the time they climb up here, we'll have split" Brian proudly replied.

"You got those joints Elders?...We haven't got all night... I didn't come here for the view", Nate chimed in... not missing a chance to assert his authority.

The group sat down on the rocky precipice as Brian passed around the stash he had nicked off his older brother that morning.

"This spot is so cool guys... We should come here when we don't have practice" said Tanya

"Yeah...you girls could do our homework" Nate joked

Brian took a long draw and exhaled "Hey does anyone want to go for a swim, that pool looks awesome" as he caught Jolene's eye.

Jolene glanced at Bronwyn "Yeah...I'll go... you'll come too, hey Bron?"

"Sure" Bronwyn replied.

"Hey I'll come too" Mark interjected, as the guys had already worked out that Bronwyn was his girl on this jaunt.

As the four got to the bottom of the rock Brian began to take off his shirt, as did Jolene. "What ..We skinny dipping?" queried Mark.

"Whadda ya think" replied Brian.."You gunna sit around in wet clothes"

The three without Mark slid into the water as he decided he'd rather change behind a bush.

Kara was now aware and slightly upset that she was the one without a partner. She had a crush on Mark, and it was obvious he'd chosen Bron. Nate and Tanya were practically necking when she got up and decided to go down to the pool. She didn't really want to swim either, so it seemed an ideal time to venture into the trees and bushes by the pool for a toilet break. About twenty yards from where she entered the brush she found a tree that seemed like it would be as good a spot as any. She began to remove her pants when she heard a sound approaching from the other side of the tree. She slowly peered around the tree as a something grabbed her from behind.
man, its like I walked into Penthouse letters bizzaroworld :D

Crankyfeet
Cyclingforums.com: Best All-time Quotes/Posts/Threads
man, its like I walked into Penthouse letters bizzaroworld :DIf you just read that above post on its own then, yeah... it's Penthouse letters bizzaroworld. If you read from the bottom of page 3, post #44, where the story begins, then its just Penthouse letters... :D

But you'd still be wondering WTF this has to do with pro cycling?... :confused: :p

thunder
Cyclingforums.com: Best All-time Quotes/Posts/Threads
If you just read that above post on its own then, yeah... it's Penthouse letters bizzaroworld. If you read from the bottom of page 3, post #44, where the story begins, then its just Penthouse letters... :D

But you'd still be wondering WTF this has to do with pro cycling?... :confused: :p
I think you can work in Cdale Girl into a fantasy to include pro cycling and penthouse :D

Crankyfeet
Cyclingforums.com: Best All-time Quotes/Posts/Threads
I think you can work in Cdale Girl into a fantasy to include pro cycling and penthouse :DFor you?...:D

C'dale Girl
Cyclingforums.com: Best All-time Quotes/Posts/Threads
I haven't read any of this yet. I think I'm going to have to block out some time to do it before Het Volk.
Dude, your blocking out time to read an internet forum thread . . . :eek:

C'dale Girl
Cyclingforums.com: Best All-time Quotes/Posts/Threads
This is turning into FID 2
And you've been wondering why the post count has been down in the FID? Look in the mirror my friend. Shame on all of you. :p

C'dale Girl
Cyclingforums.com: Best All-time Quotes/Posts/Threads
I think you can work in Cdale Girl into a fantasy to include pro cycling and penthouse :DWtf?

Here I am responding to this thread as I'm WEEDING through the bs, and I just now come across this. Nice!!!!!

Does anybody know how Lance set up his computer to tip him off every time he's mentioned? I think I'm going to have to start investing in such software. We all know I don't read all the shit on CF and, well, between this and the Dear Cycling Expert thread, I'm beginning to think I might be able to benefit from such technology.

(thunder, take note as to the timing of my post here. ;) )

:D

C'dale Girl
Cyclingforums.com: Best All-time Quotes/Posts/Threads
As a point of clarification, I did not mean that Cranky's novel or any on-topic posts regarding best quotes were bs substantively. To quite the contrary, I quite enjoyed all of the posts and the story. I used the term "bs" loosely and facetitously and not literally. Thanks . . . now, carry on. :)

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Crankyfeet
Cyclingforums.com: Best All-time Quotes/Posts/Threads
As a point of clarification, I did not mean that Cranky's novel or any on-topic posts regarding best quotes were bs substantively. To quite the contrary, I quite enjoyed all of the posts and the story. I used the term "bs" loosely and facetitously and not literally. Thanks . . . now, carry on. :)I think they're BS. My opinion of your judgment skills is diminished now C... :p

[I'm just being "facetitous"... :D ]

James Bruce Gil
Cyclingforums.com: Best All-time Quotes/Posts/Threads
Come on... we are all waiting for the next chapter/act/scene...

Was she snatched away by the Troll? Or did the troll get his way with the snatch?

Kind regards,

Crankyfeet
Cyclingforums.com: Best All-time Quotes/Posts/Threads
Chapter 6 [The story begins at post #44, which is the bottom of page 3 for those with 15 posts to a page]



The Mayor takes a call as he speeds to the McAussie farm.

Fumbling as he opens his cell phone, he finally gets it to his ear and speaks, “Hello”.

“This is Gwen from the office, Dave”

“Gwen… what are you doing still there?”

“I can’t get away at the moment. Officer Swanson from out at Grayson Street has called. He wants to issue some kind of statement to the press and he can’t reach the Sheriff. Apparently there are a few regional news teams that have come to Paceline for Saturday’s Fall Leaf Day’s celebrations and somehow they have picked up from police radio or something about the murders at Grayson Street. They’re down there now talking to the neighbors and badgering the police”

“Oh great”, the Mayor turns to glance at Monica as he speaks on the phone, “This is what happens when people start making ridiculous speculations about medieval monsters before they have any real proof. Next thing you know, it’s on TV". The Mayor continues, "Gwen, please tell Swanson to issue no statement other than it is a routine investigation and there is no evidence anything abnormal has happened”.

“Dave… Jane has also been out today at the Town Square overseeing the erection of the marquis and stalls, and there are a lot of rumors going around. People are talking Dave. And reporters have been trying to call us here for an interview with you. I think it’s about the rumors, Dave.”

“Look Gwen… I’m busy at the moment… they are going to have to wait until tomorrow. Whatever you do just stay calm and offer them nothing. I’ll call you later at home and we can discuss it, okay?” The Mayor closes his phone.

He continues to Monica and Little Feather, “If only we still had Trev Vaunie, our last Sheriff. You know, the one who resigned and moved to Dayleepellatown. He knew how to squash rumors. This whole mess is Tom Brickland’s fault”.

The Mayor plants his foot further down on the gas pedal.

Crankyfeet
Cyclingforums.com: Best All-time Quotes/Posts/Threads
Chapter 7 [The story begins at post #44, which is the bottom of page 3 for those with 15 posts to a page]




Sheriff Tom Brickland and Deputy "Jack" Jackson pull up in front of the McAussie farmhouse. Officer Edwards is still in the trunk.


"Looks like Lorena and McAussie are back from fixing the fence... There's McAussie's pickup" notes the Sheriff.


"Okay... I'm going to check to see that Edwards is still alive" Jack remarks as he opens the door to get out.


Jack opens the trunk after the Sheriff unlocks it from the driver’s seat, "I'm sorry Mr. Edwards” Jack says in a high pitched voice, “We apologize for the turbulence... Would you like the chicken or beef, sir?"


"It stinks in here Jackson!!!" Edwards exclaims as he quickly jumps out.


"Well, it was either the ‘big mean guns’ or the smelly dog carcass, Edwards" said Jack... "Personally, I would rather smell gunpowder for half an hour myself".

"I didn't know there was a dead dog in there, Jackson." Edwards counters with deliberation.


The Sheriff hands Jack an assault rifle from the back door with a couple of clips of ammunition, "I guess you'll be using your revolver, Edwards." The Sheriff continues, "If we need to use our weapons, I think your pistol will be about as useful as a pop gun... but it's your choice".


The three police officers casually approach the front door of the farmhouse. Before they enter Jack points to a window at the front with the pane smashed in and remarks in an ominous tone, "Hey guys... I think we have company".

"Okay 1,2,3" the Sheriff whispers before he kicks open the door as all three jump inside brandishing their weapons. The house is eerily dark in the late afternoon twilight.

"Split up... and don't hesitate to shoot" instructs Tom.

Edwards goes right, entering a hallway, beside the study. He opens a door quickly about halfway along the corridor, but it's just a closet. As he closes the door, a shadowy shape just passes out of view from left to right across the opening at the far end of the hall. There is a noise which alerts Edwards. He creeps towards the end of the hall, pausing just before it opens to a new room, and then quickly jumps out and turns left, revolver cocked, in the direction of the sound he heard. He is visibly shaking. He sees nothing. He creeps forward. It looks like some kind of sitting room on the west side of the house. He edges closer to the far door passing behind a sofa. Suddenly a large dark shape jumps at him. He jolts, but it is just a black cat. He gets to the open doorway that leads to a small L-shaped alcove. He slowly turns left, and sees what looks like the den in the next room. He edges through the doorway into the den but he is unaware of another adjacent doorway on his right. A huge pale clawed hand reaches out from the opened door adjacent and behind him and wraps around his neck. As it tightens its grip, Edwards tries to scream but he cannot get any air through his throat. He brings his hand around to shoot as he is lifted but the sound of his neck breaking coincides with his body going limp and lifeless.

The sheriff is upstairs and enters the last of three bedrooms. On the floor is McAussie and his wife, both gored and drenched in blood. The Sheriff checks for pulses… there are none. His cell phone begins to ring. He quickly opens it and spots on the display that it is the Mayor calling. He whispers into the mouthpiece emphatically "Turn back… the beasts are here".

"We've driven all this way and we get to the farmhouse and you want us to leave, Tom? I kind of want to see these fairy tale monsters you know." the Mayor says mockingly.

"Leave!! Damn it Dave, you don't know what you're dealing with!" the Sheriff whispers loudly in exasperation.


The mayor continues, "Look Tom... If there are...."


SMASH!!!


The driver's side window is exploded by a huge fist and the Mayor is dragged out quickly through the window by a huge arm, kicking and yelling. Monica screams hysterically and opens her front passenger door and runs. She is gathered by the troll only a few yards from the car and brought to ground where she is extinguished quickly. Little Feather huddles behind the front seat down low in the back of the car. The troll returns to the car and peers its head into the cabin from Monica’s opened door and scans the interior, sniffing and snorting. The troll begins to lean through to the rear of car, just as a gunshot coming from inside the farmhouse distracts it.


Jackson has fired at a huge shape in the kitchen that passed by the door. He moves from under the upstairs bedroom walkway and goes into the kitchen. He looks both ways and catches a glimpse of Edwards lying motionless on the floor of the den. He looks left again and through another open doorway. He catches sight of Lorena under a dining table, between the chairs, sobbing. She sees him and her cries become a little louder. She looks away and begins screaming at something that Jackson can't see to his left because his field of view is limited. As he moves quickly to the dining room door a troll begins flinging the chairs away from the table in grunts and snorts. Jackson begins firing rounds into the troll. It switches focus to Jackson and tries to lunge at him roaring furiously. The troll collapses just short of Jackson, lifeless.


“Quickly Lorena, let’s get out of here”, says Jack.


Lorena crawls out from the table, gets up, and screams at Jackson. Jackson is confused at why she is screaming at him as the arm of a troll reaches round and grabs him in a head lock from behind. “Run Lorena!!” Jackson cries in a choked voice as the gun is knocked from his hands by the troll’s free hand. Lorena runs for the door to the living room as the troll reaches his other arm around to break Jackson’s neck. But Jackson is not submitting. Years of martial arts training coalesce into a few seconds as he fights for his life. He sends a right fist upwards, correctly guessing where the troll’s head is and catches the troll perfectly on the side of the jaw. The troll is knocked off balance and Jackson is able to wriggle loose. He turns and faces the stunned troll which stares at him and growls, revealing huge canines. The seven and a half foot troll lunges at Jackson with its head down.


Jackson doesn’t hesitate. He swivels around and executes a spinning reverse roundhouse kick that catches the troll on the jaw sending it into the side wall. The troll is momentarily stunned on the floor against the wall. The Sheriff has moved down to the adjacent living room now and takes aim at the troll on the floor and fires. But his rifle is jammed. Jackson looks around and shouts at Lorena and Tom.

“Get out of her! I’ll come later!”

Jackson knows that he is probably never going to see them again. He knows their only chance is for him to divert the troll long enough for them to escape. The troll rises up with a menacing growl. It comes at Jackson again, “ Okay…Eat this!!”

Jackson jumps high executing a flawless butterfly kick again to the troll’s head. This time the troll is knocked temporarily unconscious. Jackson turns to escape just as another troll smashes through the side window and leaps on him. There are strenuous sounds of a tussle as Jackson is subdued. The other troll regains its composure and moves in to complete the kill.


Lorena and Tom are at the car. They see the dead bodies of the Mayor and Monica and notice the back door of the Mayor's car opening slowly to reveal Little Feather. Tom calls her to come quickly. Little Feather jumps into the car with them. The trolls exit the house and spot the car as Tom turns the key. The car won’t start. The two trolls run at the car. Finally the car starts but one of the trolls is able to jump on the trunk as the car accelerates away. The troll punches through the back window. Little Feather screams as the troll's hand reaches for her. She lunges forward against the back of the front seat. The patrol car speeds off as the troll holds onto the rear window edge. The troll is able to wedge itself through the window. It is about to grab Little Feather when Tom spins the steering wheel. The car skids, spinning instantly 120 degrees at speed. The troll is flung from the rear window onto the ground. Tom floors the pedal again and drives over the field making a wide arc to get back to the dirt driveway. The troll tries to intercept but it is not able to. The ordeal is over, for now.

Crankyfeet
Cyclingforums.com: Best All-time Quotes/Posts/Threads
BTW.. the line above when Jack looks at Lorena and the Sheriff at the door is supposed to be "Get out of here! I'll come later!".

Maybe "Get out of her!" was a Freudian slip, but I can assure you that sex wasn't on their minds at that time... http://www.planetsmilies.com/smilies/ashamed/ashamed0005.gif (http://www.planetsmilies.com/smilies/ashamed-smilies/#)

nns1400
Cyclingforums.com: Best All-time Quotes/Posts/Threads
Hey! What's goin' on with these trolls??





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