I know Lance well

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Great trolling. Sorry I made a serious reply. I lose. :rolleyes:

Great trolling. Sorry I made a serious reply. I lose. :rolleyes:
Don't worry a lot of people fell for it...even after people posted what this really is. At least you were able to admit it and laugh about it.

Great trolling. Sorry I made a serious reply. I lose.
I am so glad that I read on before replying. Funniest thread in a long time.

Well that was a much needed moment of brilliance. Thank you Mr. Jackson. Anytime you want to hook me up like Scotty, go ahead. I am finding my Yak egg and beaver sausage omellettes are no longer bringing the jazz.

LIC IT IB! \m/ \m/

I am so glad that I read on before replying. Funniest thread in a long time.Thanks for lightening up the atmosphere. Really entertaining thread!

Allow me to introduce myself, my name is Peter McFerguson (not my real name) and I am a pro-bare knuckle fighter from the Scottish Highland Games circuit. I had the privilege of meeting David Millar (real name, now of Saunier Duval Prodir) at a dinner back in 2001. I said to David here's my number, let's have sex and then go on a bike ride. Of course I never thought he'd call but he did and over to his penthouse I crawled, where waiting for me was a brand new Colnago, top hat and tails in my exact size. We went on a ride during which David blew me off...his wheel and I offered him some of the crazy drugs that have helped me kick ass on the Highland Games circuit. David just smiled and said, hey man I can't beat those guys without EPO or any shit like that.

So there you have it, don't you ever doubt David Millar, he's as clean as the portaloo at the Inverness Show Ground.

Disclaimer: please note none of this ever happened.

Thanks for disclaimer.:)

From The Unknown Tour De France by Les Woodland, speaking of the climb up Alpe d'Huez: "In 1992 the american Andy Hampsten climbed at record speed for the best win of his life and then in 1998 Marco Pantani trimmed his time even more. To put that ride into perspective, it took the American Lance Armstrong - the race leader - four and a half minutes longer to do it the following year."

I think the year was 1997 for Pantani, not sure if they did that climb in 98 when he was caught cheating...can anyone verify.

Having seen armstrong put it to Pantani in the climbs the following years(when he was passing hundreds of tests), I not so sure that Armstrong was doping in 1999 since he was so much slower than an "enhanced" Pantani.

I think the year was 1997 for Pantani, not sure if they did that climb in 98 when he was caught cheating...can anyone verify.


unless my memory is catching up with my age, i think pantani won the giro and the tour in '98. he tested + (high crit %, to be more exact) a year or two later in the giro and got kicked.

anyhow, i was great friends with il pirata, and I know for a fact that he never took any PEDs. The cocaine was injected into him by a jealous rival, while he was asleep, and he had a natural crit level of 99%. I know this is a fact because I spent every single minute with him for eight years straight. (Look at the pictures of the '98 Giro and you'll see me running alongside or in the team car.)

unless my memory is catching up with my age, i think pantani won the giro and the tour in '98. he tested + (high crit %, to be more exact) a year or two later in the giro and got kicked.

anyhow, i was great friends with il pirata, and I know for a fact that he never took any PEDs. The cocaine was injected into him by a jealous rival, while he was asleep, and he had a natural crit level of 99%. I know this is a fact because I spent every single minute with him for eight years straight. (Look at the pictures of the '98 Giro and you'll see me running alongside or in the team car.)

I was in Andy Hampsten's saddle bag the day he won on the Alpe and I know for a fact he ate a haggis half way up the climb (just after Dutch Corner) and that is why he won. The UCI have never refined their haggis test, maybe they should.

I have ridden Alpe D 5 times (true) and never eaten haggis (untrue).

unless my memory is catching up with my age, i think pantani won the giro and the tour in '98. he tested + (high crit %, to be more exact) a year or two later in the giro and got kicked.

anyhow, i was great friends with il pirata, and I know for a fact that he never took any PEDs. The cocaine was injected into him by a jealous rival, while he was asleep, and he had a natural crit level of 99%. I know this is a fact because I spent every single minute with him for eight years straight. (Look at the pictures of the '98 Giro and you'll see me running alongside or in the team car.)

Laughed out loud. Thanks.

I was in Andy Hampsten's saddle bag the day he won on the Alpe and I know for a fact he ate a haggis half way up the climb (just after Dutch Corner) and that is why he won. The UCI have never refined their haggis test, maybe they should.

I have ridden Alpe D 5 times (true) and never eaten haggis (untrue).

I think they test for metabolites of haggis.

Absolutely the funniest thread going for a while. After openning up that star trek thingy though I think I may have hurt myself laughing. Mr. Jackson do you have anything that might help my recovery?

I think they test for metabolites of haggis.

It wasn't my haggis, it was my vanishing twin's haggis. Before I became a pro cyclist I worked as a magician in the circus and I would make my twin vanish from inside a padlocked steel case. One fateful day he vanished and when after the show I went to the usual spot to find him (behind the popcorn stall) he was nowhere to be seen. My twin had truly vanished this time. There was no other option but to run away and join US Postal. I never thought I would see my twin again, so when he showed up in my blood at the Olympics and then again at the Vuelta I was most surprised! Even Tugboat let out a yelp - but that's another story for another forum altogether.

Just got back from a four hour ride, and thought i had not eaten enought and was bonking when i read this thread. Great, you should go on the road with this shit, you could could be the best circus in town ............clown!. If you own a bike i would get out there and pedal this shit out of your system. Im off for a laydown. :rolleyes:

Just got back from a four hour ride, and thought i had not eaten enought and was bonking when i read this thread. Great, you should go on the road with this shit, you could could be the best circus in town ............clown!. If you own a bike i would get out there and pedal this shit out of your system. Im off for a laydown. :rolleyes:

If it's any use I own three bicycles but My Doctor is in hiding so I can't ride them. Off to sleep now...zzz

If it's any use I own three bicycles but My Doctor is in hiding so I can't ride them. Off to sleep now...zzzSorry- mate hope i didn't offend you, i meant Mr martin the oringinal poster:eek: . I did'nt post properly sorry ; cheers.

Sorry- mate hope i didn't offend you, i meant Mr martin the oringinal poster:eek: . I did'nt post properly sorry ; cheers.No offense taken. With converts like you, I'll win my battle. Now take the message and shout it from the mountain tops!

Dont know what you mean, in a religious context or what? I just do not see the conection. What do mountains have to do with this, or are you a philosopher, if so let me in on the riddle. cheers

Martin is my friend.

In that I believe.